Day 36: peeing outside. 

Today at our play date at the park my son had to pee so he pulled down his pants and peed in the sand in front of everyone. I was slightly mortified but also super impressed he stopped playing long enough to pee. When I ran over to him he was smiling and said,” look mom I don’t need to pee on a tree I peed in the sand!”.  All I could say was good job while silently thinking and this is my life, we probably won’t be invited over for a play date ever again.

Day 35: The Black Eye

Hudson gave Knox a black eye today by trying to carry a big toy to her to play with so that he didn’t have to share his super hero action figures… That actually happened. My 8 month old has a slight black eye from her brother and it was truly an accident. Sibling rivalry is already starting. Knox is now big enough to know she isn’t getting her way and starts crying (if you take something from her or eat any type of food and don’t offer to share) and Hudson is old enough to start secretly annoying her. So he will snatch something from her or poke her and push her down. It is lovely. I chose to have them close together. I did this to myself…..

And here is the toy that caused the black eye, he dropped one of the legs right on her face.

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Day 34: heartbreak 

Because I stay home with my children ALL the time. They never really get a chance to miss me. Seriously. Since my son was born I’ve spent five nights away from him. Seriously five. One for a bachelorette party (that one was super difficult because it was the first and I was pregnant and couldn’t even drink…) but it was worth it getting to see a late night burlesque show. One to have a date night with my husband at a hotel. We literally got the the hotel passed out woke up for sushi and went back to the hotel to sleep and got up at 5 am to go get our son because we both missed him so much. And three nights when I had my daughter (she was a c-section) but he came to visit us everyday. I just feel like he is too young to be away from both of his parents for an extended period of time. Maybe when he’s 10 he can have that freedom, maybe. 

Today I dropped him off at my grandparents house (and he loves it there) to play for the day so I can do some work and he cried when I left. He even promised he would take a nap so I could work. He hasn’t cried when I’ve left him for a few hours since he was 15 months old. So here I am contemplating staying up until midnight tonight to get my work done so I can go hang out with him instead. I can’t even imagine what pre-school is going to be like next year. 

Day 33: “it’s my birthday”

My son has been telling everyone he meets for the past month that it is his birthday. We went hiking, “today is my birthday” at play dates, “my birthday is soon”. Do you know what adults do when they hear this?!? “Aw it is happy birthday!”.  He always smiles and says thank you. And here I am in the background shaking my head saying, “stop telling people it is your birthday! You were born in July!”. 

He even makes me sing happy birthday to him as a bedtime song. Man I love that kid…. but really he knows how to work a crowd. 😒

Day 32: clogged duct part two 

Still have a clogged duct despite putting heat on it, massaging it, and having Knox try to suck it out (in my experience it is the only thing that works to get out the clog). When a baby finally breaks loose the clog it goes from the most painful feeling to instant relief. Breast feeding is hard. Worth it (and way less time consuming) but super hard. So here I am feeding my baby trying multiple different positions, and squeezing (incredibly painful) my boob while she eats trying to get this clog out. This is my life… 

Day 31: clogged duct 

Almost didn’t post today because I have a slightly clogged milk duct. This of you that have breastfed know how miserable this can be… I will literally have to post a rant tomorrow about said duct and a very funny story involving a milk blister. But for now I have to heat up my side boob and try to massage this sucker out. Lovely. 😒

Day 30: blizzard 

Last night and this morning we had a blizzard. Nothing reminds you of the innocence of children quite like a little kid playing in the snow. You cannot help but smile as they fall down in a drift to make snow angles or lick fresh powder off of a mitten. Today I was reminded that even though I think blizzards are inconvenient my son thinks they are magical. 

Day 29: people and babies. 

Okay. I’ll warn you. This is 100% a ranting post. The only life lessons you’ll learn here is what to say to piss off a mom but trust me, you’ll say them anyways. I’ve even said some of these to other moms. 

When a baby is exclusively breast fed and gets fussy do not automatically say to the mom “oh she must be hungry”. In my head my response is usually “really? Maybe she just doesn’t fucking like you because your a stranger… “. My husband does this all the time. He did it with both babies the second they would start crying or wake up in the middle of the night he would say “they only want you because they are hungry”, even if I just fed them and we are out he looks at me if they cry and says, “when did you feed her/him last?”. Like I don’t know when the last time I had someone attached to my boob was? Seriously. I instantly go from a peaceful calm person (as calm as I can be) to irritated. 

This also happens with teething if you don’t have a baby I will just let you know now they drool and constantly put things in their mouth. Do not be alarmed it doesn’t mean they are teething it means they are exploring the world with their senses. My daughter has been “teething” since she was 4 months old according to every single person she has ever met because she’s a drooler that likes to chew on everything. I know people mean well when they like to inform me they think my kid is teething but again I think I would know considering she’s attached to my nipples at least 8 times a day… 

Today I can rest easy because she finally has a tooth coming through. I no longer have to feel like verbally attacking someone for asking me if she’s teething because yes she is… and here is her beautiful bottom tooth coming through (please ignore her face smeared with yogurt and chunks of french toast on her pjs I discovered her tooth during breakfast) 

Day 28: Tired days

Let’s be honest being a parent is exhausting. Being a stay at home parent is exhausting because you constantly have your children. All day every day. Normally I love being at my kids beck and call. I love hanging out with them because they are awesome. But I’ll be honest there are days and they are usually very rare that I dread having to be the primary care giver. Seriously. I’m human and it is absolutely allowed. Last night I was awake from 1:30-5 am with each kid taking turn having to go to the bathroom, nursing, and being soothed back to sleep and then had to be up bright and early to get everyone out the door for a play date by 9. I know working moms are probably rolling your eyes and thinking she has it so good. But being around your kids with no break is taxing emotionally and mentally. We spent all day surrounded by little kids screaming, yelling, playing, and having fun at monkey bizness (basically an indoor play place). It is sensory overload for everyone. Neither child napped after this excursion (lovely) so this momma hasn’t had a break. We all need breaks. 

So here I am totally exhausted with a frozen lasagna in the oven hoping I can keep my eyes open and my sanity intact until bedtime. This is raw parenting. I haven’t even gotten to pee alone today. 

Day 27: Baby 1 vs Baby 2: Nap time

When my son was a baby and I was freshly staying home I OBSESSED about his schedule. I mean I obsessed about everything he did but especially his schedule. I had all of his naps, meals, and bedtime planned out and wouldn’t lapse by more than 5 minutes. I was a crazy first time parent. I feel like you are 100% allowed to be totally insane with your first kid because it is a completely new and terrifying experience. I wouldn’t plan family dinners and stay out past his bedtime (7pm) because I thought it would ruin his schedule. In all fairness that was mostly true. He wouldn’t sleep as well and would be cranky the next day. But I also created a child that has a hard time coping with change…

Now here we are with baby number 2. I literally woke her up from her nap which usually lasts about 2 hours after she had only been asleep for 30 minutes ( I would have slaughter anyone that did this when my son was a baby) because we had lunch plans. Seriously I woke the baby for a lunch date. We go to lunch she is amazing and super happy. Then we decide to head to the park so my son can burn some energy, the next few days are supposed to be crappy weather so he needed to get out, and my daughter still didn’t nap. We finally get home at 2:40 and she goes down for a nap. That is insanity she was a perfect, awake baby all that time without a real nap. And then she fell asleep for an hour and a half and all hell broke loose. Now I remember why I never ever veered from my sons schedule. Being the second baby is hard (I know I am the youngest) but man she is a great baby.