Okay. When you have children they consume your life. As they fucking should. You chose to bring a person into this world and their well being 100% deserves to your top priority as a parent. I recently read an article floating around the internet that your children shouldn’t be your top priority your marriage should… What the fuck? When you have children you literally have to teach them every single thing. Even how to use a straw! How can someone say that you always need to put your spouse before your children when you literally have to provide your children with everything and grow them into an adult. Your spouse is a functioning person totally capable of taking care of themselves, your children can’t even use the bathroom efficiently until they are 5 (I’m assuming I’m still potty training and it seems like it is taking forever).
That being said you still have to pay attention to your partner. I get that. Your kids will leave you someday (hopefully) and all you will have is your partner. My husband and I do little things for each other. I make all his doctors appointments, usually cook, and hold down the fort. He will put our son to bed and cook breakfast on his days off. Those things matter. When we were dating without a house payment, children, or “real bills” we spent all of our time at the gym, eating healthy, napping, and having sex. He would spoil me with flowers at least once a month and other gifts and I would buy him massages and cupcakes. Now we consider it a win if we can get our kids to sleep early enough so we can watch a movie together. He occasionally slaps my butt when I walk by and I’ll rub his neck. That is real life marriage. The little things matter in a marriage. They really do. That being said look at the totally beautiful flowers he bought me while we were family grocery shopping today *love sigh*